The babyjesuschristsuperstar on Board: filling the moral void of Clinton’s legacy

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Secret_Agent_Man
Where's _your_ vaunted intellectual honesty, what with your degree in SCIENCE and all? What is wrong with you?

S_A_M

I'm pretty sure that's creative license, much like his tongue-in-cheek claim to be a Harvard alum.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by nononono
Good grief, is this a tie-in to the FB's discussion of Springsteen ("57 channels and there's nothin on). What has the world come to?

I would have gone with something like "roommates?" in response, but I suppose that's just because I am Not Mature.

[Spanky]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
It's not their fault -- an invisible hand is controlling their puppet strings.

Would you prefer the firm and visible hand of the government?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Spanky
Would you prefer the firm and visible hand of the government?

There's an interesting question in there. What could the government do to promote more and better reporting, short of making news anchors direct reports to politicians?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
There's an interesting question in there. What could the government do to promote more and better reporting, short of making news anchors direct reports to politicians?

Last year I supported regime change at CBS News.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Last year I supported regime change at CBS News.

Do you ever watch CBS News, or did you just like the idea of being bothered by them?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Do you ever watch CBS News, or did you just like the idea of being bothered by them?

I usually watch whichever has the weather girl with the most clevage showing.

[Spanky]

New Rule: Stop giving me that popup ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Spanky
New Rule: No more gift registries. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

"It's the white people version of looting." Hmm.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
"It's the white people version of looting." Hmm.

You can no more challenge Spank for that then we could you for every line in your blogs. I am 100% certain Spank has simple copied w/o attribution. Reason- see many typos?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You can no more challenge Spank for that then we could you for every line in your blogs. I am 100% certain Spank has simple copied w/o attribution. Reason- see many typos?

I think they're Bill Maher quotes.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You can no more challenge Spank for that then we could you for every line in your blogs. I am 100% certain Spank has simple copied w/o attribution. Reason- see many typos?

OK. I agree that Spanky cut and pasted it. Give me tater salad instead, please.

[Spanky]

Originally posted by Gattigap
I think they're Bill Maher quotes.

Are they? I know he wrote that book but I thought maybe these were new ones. I don't know where they came from because they were just emailed to me the way they were. I especially liked the one about Starbucks.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
But I've never really seen a 10 page memo with only arguments for one side advanced, and this memo was what 60 pages? Maybe if I was trying to fool the partner into taking a position I might have a memo with only one side considered, but why would I try and fool the partner?

Whatever you're trying, I agree. Fooling the partner is hard enough. Try whatever it is you're trying after you've finished fooling the partner.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Gattigap
I think they're Bill Maher quotes.

Or that other guy who does a "New Rules" format in his monologue. Whats his name again?